Widow backed for why she’s refusing to share husband’s inheritance with MIL

A grieving widow has been backed online after refusing to reimburse her mother-in-law for her late husband’s funeral expenses.

The woman posted to the “AITA” subreddit under the handle u/Icy-Sun6781 and wrote how her husband, who was in his late 40s, passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. Overwhelmed with grief and in a state of shock, she was unable to handle the logistics of arranging the funeral.

Her mother-in-law stepped in and offered to cover all the costs associated with the funeral. “I was completely out of it, just in a fog, and really grateful for the help,” the original poster (OP) wrote.

Things took a turn when the widow recently discovered a small life insurance policy her husband had. The policy was modest, but provided enough of a payout to help her make plans to move back across the country to be with her family and potentially put down a deposit for a new home.

Upon learning about the insurance payout, the OP’s mother-in-law demanded to be reimbursed for the funeral expenses. The grieving widow explained that she had completely forgotten about the policy amid the trauma following her husband’s death.

“She’s demanding I pay her back for the funeral costs and accusing me of ‘using’ her son. She’s said some really hurtful things, calling me selfish and implying I’m somehow profiting off his death,” she wrote.

“I know she’s grieving too, but I’m trying to do what’s best for me to heal and move forward,” the OP wrote. Now, she’s asked the people of Reddit whether she is the a****** for not giving her late husband’s mom any of the life insurance money after she paid for his funeral.

Newsweek spoke to a personal finance expert who explained that a life insurance payout is meant to support the policy holder’s dependents.

“If your mother-in-law offered to pay for the funeral expenses without the understanding that she’d be reimbursed, it would be reasonable for you to view that as her gift during an incredibly overwhelming time,” Fiona Peake from Ocean Finance said.

However, if the OP is in a position to contribute something to the funeral costs, even if it’s a small amount, it could help ease family tensions.

“Grief can make things messy, so open communication, if possible, may help to resolve this compassionately,” Peake added.

At the time of writing, the post has received 6,400 upvotes and 2,500 comments. Some sympathized with the widow, arguing that she is under no obligation to repay her mother-in-law since the offer was made without any prior agreement for reimbursement.

“If MIL offered, it isn’t a debt. It’s a gift and a tribute to her son. It wasn’t a loan. MIL paid of her own free will, no strings attached; now, she wants to add some strings. There is zero legal obligation to pay her back,” u/DixonDragon777 wrote.

Others, however, sided with the mother-in-law, suggesting that it would be fair for the widow to repay the funeral expenses now that she has the means to do so.

One Redditor was considering both sides and questioned whether the OP had any say on how much her mother-in-law spent on the funeral. “Because if she paid for a lavish funeral that you would never have arranged in your wildest dreams, you don’t owe her s***,” they commented.

If it was a normal service however, they said it “would be nice” to pay her back, but warned the OP to be skeptical.

Newsweek reached out to u/Icy-Sun6781 via Reddit. We couldn’t verify details of the case.